Erase Self Doubt and Take Action Now!
Actions Speak
Your actions show the world exactly who you are, what you believe, and what is most important to you. If you want to know somebody’s priorities and values, look at what they do every day. Actions speak what is in your heart and mind.
So, what are you doing today that demonstrates your true self?
I believe taking action is necessary before we gain confidence in any situation.
The Confidence Framework shows us that our purpose leads to planning and then to taking action. The actions we take must be directly related to our purpose if we want to become more confident and congruent.
Procrastination and getting sidetracked by shiny objects like a new online course, hobby, or Netflix series take us away from our purpose. When that happens, we slow our progress toward our goal or forget about it entirely. Not because it is no longer important, but because it becomes uncomfortable for us to reach outside our routines and comfort zone. All the work we did in deciding on our mission and making a plan is wasted, and we feel stuck and confused all over again.
So how do we stay motivated and focused?
How do we take the next right action when we just don’t feel like it?
For the past several years, I’ve been thinking about how to grow as a speaker. I’ve done hundreds of presentations on YouTube, Facebook, and in Zoom group meetings. But my stretch goal is to speak at events in person. This goal fits my purpose of helping others and being an example of an introverted person stepping into an extroverted role. Since it aligns with my purpose and it is something I want to do, I plan to reach out and offer to speak at conferences and other events. However, now that it is time to take action by creating a Speaker One-Sheet and a proposal for a topic talk for a specific upcoming conference, I doubt myself.
I look at the other women in my world who are eminently qualified, experienced speakers and I’m thinking, “Who am I to speak to these people? What could they possibly learn from me? Surely I’m not at their level of competence in speaking.”
These thoughts spring from that core belief that I am not enough. That slows my progress and brings up uncomfortable feelings that I don’t want to experience or process. So I keep putting off the actions I know I should take if I want to achieve my goal. I say to myself, “I’ll work on it after I go for a walk.” “I’ll just have some lunch and watch my favorite show first.” “I’ve got to make a call now.” “Oh, look, this great topic just popped up on Clubhouse.” The excuses go on until another day has gone by without doing the work.
Have you been in a situation like this? I think we all have. That’s why I’ve come up with a Three-step Solution that Works to Eliminate Procrastination.
Step 1. Recognize and Acknowledge
Recognize and acknowledge that you are procrastinating or “buffering.” When I don’t want to do something and I want to put it off, such as scheduling an appointment, working on taxes or finances, or confronting an uncomfortable situation or relationship, I’ll bury it in the subconscious part of my mind. Then I’ll cover it up with a cozy blanket of snacking, watching shows on Hulu, or listening to my favorite podcast while I go for a walk.
What do you do when you want to escape from something?
It’s important that when we catch ourselves buffering in this way, we don’t indulge in negative self-talk because that will only make things worse.
What we need to do is say,
“I see myself escaping from my responsibility because it makes me feel uncomfortable. This is normal human behavior. I celebrate my presence of mind because I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.”
When you are gentle with yourself in this way, you are less likely to stay unconscious and hide from the truth. You will move forward by getting back on track more quickly because you feel proud of your progress instead of ashamed of your buffering behavior.
Positive feelings motivate and sustain us.
Step 2. Thought Management
Once you recognize you are buffering to avoid feeling uncomfortable about doing the tasks to get you to your goal, then you can work on your thoughts and beliefs.
Our beliefs hold us back from doing the things that push us to the next level. A belief is just a thought that we have repeated many times. When we change our thoughts and beliefs, we can do anything we decide to do.
Sit down and write out the task you are avoiding. For example, prepare speaker application materials. Then write out your thought about that task. I am not worthy to speak at this event. Write the feeling that this thought causes. Despondency, a state of low spirits caused by loss of hope or courage. Next, describe the action that this feeling motivates in you. Snack and watch TV. What is the result? I do not finish the application and do not speak at the event. The result proves the thought that I am not worthy to speak at this event.
I made this thought into my reality!
This result is not what I want, so it’s time to change that thought. The task or circumstance is still the same. Prepare speaker application materials. The thought I choose to have about this situation is completely open to every possibility. It’s important to remember that my result will prove this thought, so I want to begin with the end in mind. What result do I want? I want to present a top-notch application so I will have the best chance possible to get booked to speak. I want to get speaking engagements to spread a message that can help others, resulting in getting clients and selling courses, memberships, and books. That means I’m getting paid for being me, and that is my ultimate dream.
So the thought I will choose is “I have a great topic that is perfect for this event and I want to share my ideas with this audience to help them enjoy a better life.” I’ll sum that up by saying, “I will speak my truth.”
How does that make me feel? Confident. Worthy. Determined. These feelings will provide the inspiration and motivation to take action without allowing fear of rejection to stand in my way.
The action I take is to focus with dedication on preparing the materials for the application and getting them submitted before the deadline. The result is that I have given my best effort to secure a speaking engagement. Then I can start putting the talk together and keep pitching it to other events. Eventually, it will happen.
That’s thought management. Going from believing the worst to believing the best because that is all in my control and it’s the most important step on the path to success.
Step 3. Process Feelings
You’ve recognized that you’re procrastinating, you’ve worked on changing your thoughts, now you’ve got to process the feelings that are keeping you stuck.
Feelings are vibrations in your body caused by emotions. When we don’t acknowledge and express our emotions, they weigh us down and keep us from moving forward. We’ll keep doing the same things again and again until we finally move those feelings out of the way.
How do we do that?
Feelings are like small children that want your attention. Once we intentionally focus on them, they will dissipate. Talk through those feelings. Describe the way it feels in your body. Is it dull or sharp? Hot or cold? Steady or fluctuating? What color is it? What is the texture of this feeling? Once you have thoroughly described the feeling either out loud or by writing about it, the feeling will lessen until it is gone.
You can then practice your new thought repeatedly until you inspire the new feeling you want and suddenly you’ll be motivated and excited to take action. These three steps can be your solution to getting unstuck and acting on your plan to achieve your purpose.
Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.
